


aftermath

by dil_aakhir_tu_kyun_rota_hai



Series: AFTG Bingo 2020 [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: BRIEF MENTION OF BRUISES, He heals, Kevin Day deserves beter, M/M, Multi, ughh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dil_aakhir_tu_kyun_rota_hai/pseuds/dil_aakhir_tu_kyun_rota_hai
Summary: Warning: Brief mention of bruises, chokingKevin deals with the aftermath of the choking incident.
Relationships: Following are requited, Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, following relationships are unrequited
Series: AFTG Bingo 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872919
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90
Collections: All For The Game Bingo 2020





	aftermath

Andrew had thought long and hard about why he did what he did. He has seen the reproving glances thrown in his direction from everyone, from Nicky to Dan.

And somewhere inside him, if he could go back and change what he happened, he knows he would.

But he can’t, so now, he has to deal with the aftermath.

Kevin wondered that if everything hadn’t played out the way it did, would those feelings of his, (the ones for the boys he thought loved him), would they not be unrequited? 

Did he ever have a chance, or was just him, alone in every universe as he got lost in an endless cycle of  _ betraying  _ and  _ being betrayed _ ? 

Was there nothing to it?

He knew he had felt something for Andrew, he knew he had. It would be delusional to think otherwise, that he hadn’t felt something for the first person that had looked at him and had pointed out his flaws while also giving him a way to improve, in his own twisted way.

But then, Kevin mused, lying on his bed  _ alone _ Neil had come, and Kevin saw himself falling in love with this boy that he had fallen in love with years ago (though he didn’t know it then. He never knew anything in time). 

But he had seen him fall for Andrew and hadn’t really been able to blame him. Andrew was just like that.

And then the championships had rolled around and Neil had disappeared, and then, Kevin’s world came crashing down.

It’s weird, how he had allowed the people he trusted the most to let him down, not once, but twice. 

Because when he had felt those strong hands close around his throat, he had cried, but not because of the pain. (He was horribly numb to pain. It was almost as if he couldn’t feel any of it anymore.) He had cried for another possibility lost, for another mistake that he had signed himself over to, another error that he had seen coming, but was too self destructive to let go. He had cried, because something in his head would not shut up.

Something that said:

_ Andrew should know th importance of keeping a secret that's not yours to share. _

_ Andrew should know how to keep his promises. _

_ Andrew should know that trust takes a long time to be built. _

_ Andrew should know what abuse looks like. _

_ Andrew should  _ _ know _ _. _

So when they were back in the dorms and he could hardly speak because of the bruises lining his throat like the shackles he had tried to hard to escape, he realized that there was something he needed to do.

He took a deep breath, and went up to the roof.

*

Some say Andrew was suicidal. Others, like Neil, understood why he did it. Today, though, he did it mostly to escape his mind and that feeling of probably having broken another person.   
He wondered if Kevin also call him a monster now, in place of the carefully worded defenses that he gave to them when they asked him about the maniac on his team.

He looked up in slight surprise as he got on the roof and found Kevin there, with his arms around his legs, looking so so vulnerable, and childish, with those bruises across his neck that he had refused to cover with makeup.

Andrew wondered if maybe, he had misjudged Kevin Day after all.

The man in question looked up, his usually emotional face devoid of any feeling, and said, “There’s no need for the deal anymore.”

He got up after that statement and continued speaking though Andrew knew how much it must be hurting him.

“I kept my end.”

Andrew could fill in the blanks easily.

_ But you didn’t. _

He left after that, but Andrew didn’t register it.

He was too occupied with the chorus of  _ disappointed-letdown- _ ~~_ broken _ ~~ _ breaking. _

*

Kevin was back at Wymack’s apartment and Abby handed him a cup of honey tea for his throat and looked at him understandingly as she walked away to attend to her own doctorly business, leaving Kevin alone with Wymack.

Kevin busied himself drinking, more as an avoidance than anything, but he knew he was only putting off the inevitable.

And then Wymack sighed and turned to Kevin, but he cut him off.

“I talked to him,” Kevin said hoarsely, because he wasn’t even going try for normal now. 

Things stopped being normal when Riko broke his hand.

“I spoke to him, and I’m moving in Nicky’s dorm.”

Wymack just raised an eyebrow.

“Aaron agreed to Andrew’s dorm?”

Kevin looked away.

“I didn’t give him too much of a choice.”

They left it at that.

Kevin was a master at avoiding people, but not when one of those was his sun and the other one was the planet around which he revolved.

No, Kevin thought. One of them was the meteor that had crashed into him and thrown him so, so off course and the other was the planet that had been saved.

But no one cared about the moon that had been thrown off course.

They were just grateful that the planet was saved.

He didn’t say anything much during practice. 

For the first week, he said it was because of his throat, and no one could object to that, not when they had ignored him completely those first few days.

They had been forced to listen then.

Neil wasn’t playing yet, and Kevin hadn’t asked him once what had happened, though everyone had.

He didn’t want to talk to him.

Whatever feeling of friendship ( _ or more _ ) he once had was gone now.

_ Some things were just not meant to be. _

And sometimes, Kevin thought,  _ it would have been better if he had never been born at all. _

He downed his drink.

*

Neil looked from where he was almost concealed by the shadows as he watched Kevin walk into Nicky’s dorm room, shitfaced.

He had seen Kevin retreat back into the hollow empty shell of the person he had been when he was under Riko.

_ But,  _ a tiny voice inside his head said.  _ Was it really that different? _

Neil turned away and dismissed the thought.

_ It couldn’t be. _

_ But could it? _

*

Kevin had seen Neil in the hallway last night, and hadn’t been able to suppress that feeling, that feeling of rage, that almost bubbled inside him and threatened to flow over as he was reminded again and again by all the foxes just how  _ lucky _ he was that Neil had negotiated his life away.

He was so fucking lucky.

He stared at the ceiling above him.

He wanted someone to talk to.

He wanted someone who wouldn’t look at him with silent contempt when he couldn’t express just what was wrong.

He inhaled and decided.

He needed to talk to Neil too.

Kevin stood out in front of the dorm building, and realized with a quiet pang that he would have to get his own car now.

It was funny how the little things hurt so much.

He started walking.

*

Neil was at the court, with of course Andrew.

His reasoning for being here so late was that he missed it, but all of them knew he missed more than just that.

Neil had thought a lot about how he had literally signed away two people’s lives, but every angle he considered it from give him the same outcome: there was no other way.

He sat in the goal, where Andrew would be, and remembered what it felt like to play because you wanted to, not because you had to.

*

Kevin walked into the changing rooms, and barely acknowledged Andrew, who stared at him with open hostility.

It does something inside him, a chorus of disappointment and sad and worthless and useless.

“I won’t harm him,” he bites out. “Don’t worry,” in a saccharine voice and he doesn’t flinch when Andrew walks close enough to touch him, but Andrew can sense the aborted move and distances himself, and Kevin hates that it still feels like its favour when he does that.

He hates it and he walks onto the court hating it and what he is about to do.

*

Neil is looking at the goal, silently, when Kevin walks and sits near him, and it doesn't go unnoticed that he sits just out of reach, almost as if he had calculated it, though Neil knows he did, once.

Neil looks at Kevin in silent surprise and opens his mouth to say something when Kevin interrupts.

“I kept your secret.”

The  _ as long as i could _ goes unsaid, but everyone hears it.

“Thank you,” Kevin says meeting Neil’s eyes. “For signing away my playing life.”

And Kevin means it with gratitude, and Neil knows he does, and for the first time he understands, that maybe, just maybe it was an overstep. That he could have said thta it was Kevin’s wish. That he shouldn’t have taken away that decision.

It is the closest he’ll come to regret.

And he stares at Kevin, struck by how dead inside he looks, and he stares till Kevin walks away, and that is when he realizes how badly they’ve fucked up.

*

Andrew realized, as he heard Kevin finish his little dialogue, that he was wrong. He was wrong in assuming that he was the one dealing with the aftermath.

It wasn’t him.

It was Kevin.

*

Kevin stared at his phone, at the offending number and picked it up. 

“Hey,” Jean says, his voice filling the air around him.

“Hey,” Kevin says back, and he lets himself relax as Jean understands what he needs and fills the space around him with empty chatter.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

He was dealing with the aftermath, and somehow, it felt like he was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the AFTG Bingo, and andrew/neil apologists dont get in the comments please, i will not hesitate to delete it.  
> Otherwise, thanks for reading :)  
> Leave a comment or kudos, it makes my day!!


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